Thanks, Anderson, I’m here with an early voter who says his vote was flipped to Hillary without his consent.
Sir—can you tell everyone your name?
I’d rather not. I know they’ll just put me on the list to take m’ guns. There’s a reason they’re riggin’ this ‘lection.
OK…um…can you tell us what happened then?
Sure, sure. So…I waited in line with my ID so I could prove I weren’t no Democrat they bused in from New Jersey. I saw that on the Facebook, you know.
Well…let’s…keep focused. The real story here is what happened in the voting booth, right?
Oh…yeah—course. Well. I get into the booth and do my little election chant—eeny, meeny, miny, moe—Crooked Hillary’s got to go.
Election chant?
Well…yeah. It’s fer luck, and—to be honest—my recall ain’t what it once was. It helps me ‘member. Don’t want to get it wrong.
Of course not
Right. So I do my chant and vote. Now I know I don’t read well, but I know an ‘H’ when I see one. And that’s what I did. I voted ‘H’ for “him,” ‘cause Mr. Trump is gonna make America great again. And can you believe it? It picked Hillary?
Um…you do know Hillary starts with ‘H,’ too. And “her.”
And there you go with yer Ivy League ‘litism. Typical crooked media backing up this crooked plot to steal the election. I don’t know how you people sleep at night.