Fall Classic


One final question, Mr. Trump. Hillary Clinton is clearly backing her hometown Cubs. Do you have a favorite in the World Series?

Favorite? You’ve got to be kidding.

Excuse me?

These teams are losers. Biggest losers in all of sports—look it up. The Indians—I can’t even remember the last time the Indians won anything. And the Cubs? Please. Were they even playing baseball when the Cubs won?

Doesn’t that make the Series more exciting?

More exciting? To see two losers fight to be the best loser? Gimme a break. The only reason they’re here—do you know why they’re here?

Um…they won their leagues?

No—they’re here because you people want them to be here. Oh—it’s a feel-good story that the crooked media wants to push. Hooray for the loveable losers.

Are you saying that baseball is rigged?

Of course it’s rigged. You couldn’t have a cozier group of insiders running things. It’s practically a sports version of the Democrats.


You heard me. The Cubs and Indians are there for the same reason that Crooked Hillary is running for President—the establishment is behind them.


Of course. These guys run around playing with bats and balls, and it’s the National Pastime. But I talk about grabbing one—

OK—back to the studio!

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