Never Better


Hey man, how you doing?

I’m good. How have you been?

I’m good, too.

You sure?

What? Yeah—I’m fine.

I don’t know. People have been saying you’re pretty sick.

What? Who?

I don’t know—people. It’s all over the Internet—Facebook, Twitter—you name it.

What? That’s ridiculous. You’re looking at me. I’m fine.

I’d like to believe you, but I know what I read.

I think I’d know if I’m sick. What am I supposed to have, anyway?

I can’t remember. Let me check…oh yeah—leprosy.


Yeah—says you lost three fingers yesterday!


Yeah…well…they do wonders with prosthetics these days.

Are you kidding?

Hold on—another update. Oh my God—you’re dead!


Wow. Dude…how does it feel to be a zombie?

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