Three Quarters Empty


Hold it right there!

Excuse me?

You heard me. Get over here!

Is there a problem, officer?

Is there a problem? Get a load of this guy. Is there a problem? I suppose you’re gonna tell me you weren’t smiling over there.

Um…is that a problem?

Is that a problem? Are you kidding? What the fuck do you have to smile about. Do you not pay attention? Do you live in a goddamned barn? Are you trying to tell me you’re a moron? Is that it? Is that your excuse?

No—I was…I was just happy because—

Happy? Happy? Call this one in, Fred—we’ve got an ISIS supporter here. On the ground, sir!

Wait—no—you’ve got it all wrong.

Christ—he may even be an illegal! Get on the ground! Now!

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