Great news!
What happened?
You know my soldier?
Sure.
He just got a promotion!
Congratulations! That dude’s worth every nickel you paid.
Thanks, I know. As soon as he sends me the…uh…little rank pin thing—whatever you call it. I can put it on my uniform.
Nice. Your guy is tremendous. How did I get a guy who is so useless?
Yeah…sorry about that. Maybe he’ll turn things around.
Hardly. He can’t even figure out how to get wounded. I can’t even get a freaking purple heart.
Yeah—that’s definitely rough.
Next thing you know he’ll starting whining about PTSD.