2016 Election Satire

I hate nothing more than somebody telling me what I should think, so I’m never going to do that. I want to make you laugh at Donald Trump. Where your thoughts take you from there is all on you. If I don’t make you laugh…well, I’m going to blame you for that, too.

You’ll find the satire of the day down below. If you’ve missed any, or this is your first time to the site, you can check out more through the menu on the right or the links below today’s satire.

Exit Strategy

exit-strategy

Thanks, Wolf. I’m here outside of Houston, and—let me tell you—it’s quite a scene.

It looks like it. Can you explain to our viewers what it is they’re seeing.

Well, Wolf—and anyone who is left—Houston seems to be the epicenter of the whole thing. With the mass exodus from both coasts the country has essentially folded down the middle and flung up on the ends.

And everyone who is left?

Is headed to Houston, one way or another.

What are the authorities doing about this?

Well, I tried to get someone from the National Geologic Survey to comment, but they seem to have flown the coop, too.

I see.

But local law enforcement and fire fighters have been stepping up all over the country. They’re passing out ropes and crampons so people can…you know…get their bearings.

Is that working?

Well, the Coast Guard is still pretty busy picking people out of the bay here. On the bright side, they plan to relocate those they rescue to New York and California. They think this will help the damage wear off in a decade or two—fifty years at the most.