Trump v. Clinton, et al.


Plaintiff Donald J. Trump (the greatest) complains against Crooked Hillary Clinton (a very nasty woman), the Lying Media (the worst), and the Rigged System (obvious); and DOES 1-4 as follows. Defendants Clinton, Media, and System are collectively referred to as “Defendants.”


1. Plaintiff Donald J. Trump brings this lawsuit to stop Defendants from stealing this election from the American People (Drain the Swamp).

2. Defendants have conspired to allow unqualified voters to cast votes against Plaintiff and for Defendant Clinton (so nasty).

3. In furtherance of point 2, Defendants have conspired to allow women (femi-nazis) minorities (The Blacks), immigrants (rapists and murderers), Muslims (ISIS), and educated voters of all ethnicities (elitist scum—probably socialists) to vote in this election.

4. To correct this grave injustice, Plaintiff demands that the above groups (very bad people) be immediately stopped from voting, and all previously cast votes from said voters be discarded. Further, Plaintiff demands that only real Americans (white males with no more than a high school education) be allowed to cast votes in the remaining hours of this election (Make America Great Again).

Bipartisan Beer Drinker’s Guide to Election Night

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