No, no, Charlie Brown—this year’s different. The Great Trumpkin is coming!
The Great Trumpkin?
Oh, yes, once every 240 years the Great Trumpkin comes to save all the good little boys and girls.
Well, not so much the girls. He comes to save the good little boys—good little boys like us.
You know—Americans— little white Christian boys.
But save us from what, Linus?
Oh—I read up all about this. He’s coming to save us from the crooked media, the rigged system, and corrupt politicians. And Mexicans. Oh—I almost forgot—and Muslims, too. The Great Trumpkin is going to make America Great Again!
Wait a minute. Are we in danger?
Of course, Charlie Brown—they’re coming to take our jobs.
Yes, Charlie Brown?
We’re only 8. We don’t have jobs.