Over the Edge


Wolf—we have breaking news. Donald Trump is about to announce he believes the world isn’t flat!

That’s incredible Dana. Is he going to give a statement?

Yes. Yes, I believe…here he comes now.

Thank you, thank you—it’s wonderful to be here with all you great people—great people. Let’s see if the lying media will show how great and wonderful this crowd is. Just wonderful.

(wild applause)

Before we get started, I want to quickly clear something up. People have been talking—the crooked media has been lying, really. They’re lying about whether or not I think the earth is round.

(loud boos)

Of course the earth is round. I’ve never said the earth was flat. Anyone who claims that is just a liar.

(louder boos)

Now the crooked media keeps trotting out old video and interviews—all out of context, of course. And they say, “Trump said this, Trump said that.” You know what Trump said? Trump said, “I want to give you a voice!”

(raucous cheering)

When you were talking about the whole flat earth thing, I listened. If people are talking, we need to look into things. It’s that simple. We need to investigate. And believe me I put my best investigators on the job.

(more wild applause)

And all these scientists—you know where they get their money. All they can say is “Trump is crazy.”

(loudest boos yet)

If I’m crazy for standing up for you, that’s the kind of crazy I want to be!

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