I Know You Are but What Am I?


Thank you for joining us tonight, Mr. Trump.

Well, I appreciate the chance to set the record straight. My opponent has been telling lie after lie about me—vicious lies. They’re really unbelievable. And the crooked media is giving her a free pass as usual.

Let’s get right to it then. Secretary Clinton has called you a racist.

I agree—she’s a racist.

No—she has said you’re the racist.

Right—she’s the biggest bigot I know. And, believe me, I know how she works. Couldn’t be more prejudiced.

I think you’re missing the point.

No, no—it’s perfectly clear. She’s a bigot—and the American people see right through her. Believe me.

So you’re not going to deny her charges?

Unfortunately I have to call it like I see it. I tell the truth—Something Crooked Hillary wouldn’t know anything about, by the way. The truth is, she’s a bigot. She’s a bigot, and she should be ashamed of herself.


She wants to deport Mexicans. She’s patronizing to blacks.


She attacks a Federal judge over his heritage. His heritage! She has no shame.


Can I give you some friendly advice? You really need to prepare for these interviews a little better. You seem to be at a loss for words.

Next Satire